Chai Tea Miso and Christmas

So at Starbucks AGAIN with the bestie. Thanks to my Mom I can now have a chai tea at starbucks with low calories. Order a Chai Tea Miso (chai tea bags) with non fat milk, 1 pump of sugar free vanilla and 1 equal (splenda if you prefer). Its not exactly the same but for not taking in 230 calories its pretty darn good :D

Also its the Month of December which means that I am now obsessed with Christmas. The season, the decorations, the drinks, the movies and music. I listen to Christmas music at home in the car and most places have it on when you go shopping. I love Christmas movies and it has been even more fun to watch them this year now that Skyler is 3. Kevin has been a joy to be around more too so its nice to spend the time together as a family and create all these memories together. With all that being said these are some of the Christmas movies we have watched already.

Passion for Photography

There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer.

Ansel Adams

The joy of doing Nothing

Today was such a lazy day....I did NOTHING all day!!! I wanted to see my bestie but both her and I were having LAZY days. I wanted to go over to her place so we could do NOTHING together but I didn't even have the energy to get over to her place.

My hubby had the day off and we just sat around and were lazy together. To be honest it was kind of nice. We watched a couple of episodes of some ghost show...its always entertaining. Then Kev made it a point to get down to Blockbuster so we could rent the Disney Christmas Carol with Jim Carey. I enjoyed it except it was kind of dark. Well I guess in a sense that movie is kind of creepy. Ghost of the past, present and future. It was kind of scary for Sky but she was a trooper and sat through it. Sky fell asleep on my lap which is always a great Mommy feeling.

Tomorrow I will be back to the everyday things...Its starting to get cold outside and its going to be difficult to get Sky out of the house. I need to start going to the gym. Its has become real apparent that Kevin isn't going to motivate me to get to the gym so I'm on my own. What I need to do is get up in the AM and get Sky ready and get to the gym by 9-10 am. They have a fun class for preschoolers from 9-11 and it would be great for her as well as for me. I need to get to Costco tomorrow since I have ran out of the basics, you know like milk and eggs. Then after grocery shopping I am on a mission to get this house back in order. Its not that bad but for some reason even when a couple of things are out of place lately the house looks a wreck.

Well I didn't know what to post about so I just decided to get on here and type....I know its kind of all over the place and kind of random but once you get to know me you realize thats just how I am. :D

Weather tonight was thunderstormy. I don't know if thats a word but I like it. 

Kevin and I love thunderstorms so it made our night wonderful.

Listening to

I'm back with some holiday cheer

Its that time a year. The time where everyone seems a little bit more joyful. Christmas trees are up, Christmas lights twinkle in the windows. The smell of pine and evergreen fill my home. Baking sweet cookies for my baby girl and hubby as well as for friends. The season of giving. I'm planning on cooking a big holiday dinner today for my family. I didn't cook for thanksgiving since we were invited to a friends home but there's nothing better than thanksgiving left overs. I will cook today and have the left overs tomorrow.

Happy Holidays from my home to yours.

 I will be posting my holiday photos soon

Never A Shopper

Good Morning

Last night I went to my besties favorite store Anthropologie. I never had the desire to go because I knew the clothes there are WAY out of my budget. So last night was an opportunity to hang out with Morgan, so I went. I told her I wasn't going to allow myself to like anything in there.....WRONG!!! Of course I loved the stuff in there...I should have listened to myself and not went. haha

Now there's a couple things at Anthropologie that I love...

  

I also came across a website today www.modcloth.com. Where I found myself looking and looking and looking at things that I love!!! Looks like I better start figuring out a way to make some extra money so I can start shopping :)  Here's a few things I love from Mod Cloth.

 

I hope you all have a great day...

**************************

 

My every day battles

 Hello All! 

I haven't blogged in awhile. I have been under the weather for about a week and well sometimes I struggle with what I want to share with all of you. Not that there's things I don't want to share but the lack of things to share...Does that make since?

I have been going through a lot emotionally lately. I found out that my hormones are off balance. My Dr. decided to do a test run and give me less hormones than I was originally getting and I think I need to get back to the higher dosage. Not that I'm an expert but I felt better when I was getting more. I have also been taking 50,000 IU's of vitamin D weekly. I called my Dr. office about 2 weeks ago and they told me to stop taking my vitamin D do to my levels being ok. I got a phone call yesterday from the Dr. office and they tell me my vitamin levels are "extremely" low. I started taking my vitamins yesterday and I have to tell you, I feel a world of difference. 

So other than medical reasons for me to be off balance I have emotional issues. I'm obsessed with food which means I love to eat! I eat when I'm hungry, snacky, sad, happy, celebrating, crying, bored, lonely, and any other feeling you get. I was watching Dr. Phil and there was a woman on his show that was talking about her eating and how she felt so unattractive to her husband. She felt unattractive to herself. Her self esteem had diminished. She would eat in private so there would be zero judgment in concern to what she would eat. She weighs exactly what I weigh and I feel exactly like her, and all I could do was cry.

Kevin and I are looking into joining the YMCA. I need him to motivate me (basically kick me out the house) and get me going to the gym. The YMCA has a great child care and tons of things to offer my daughter and that alone is reason enough for the membership in my eyes. 

I'm looking forward to starting this process. I'm going to attempt to journal about my experience. Probably about how I'm feeling, my struggles, my strengths and I will TRY to get the courage to do the before and after photos. I just hope I don't let myself down.

I really want to be thin. I want clothes to look cute on me, I want to look the way I did when I met Kevin, and most of all I want to feel good about ME. Not that you have to be thin to feel those things but for me personally, that's what I need. I know being thin wont fix my problems its just a major problem in my eyes that I can fix. I will battle those other issues in other ways :D

I was going to write about some other things but I will save them for a later time....I took 2 sleeping pills and I am feeling very very sleepy....Good Night!

I hope your all doing well. Anyone want to join me on this working out and eating better quest?

Almost Autumn

I am at Starbucks with MORGAN

I am enjoying my Iced Green Tea

But I kind of wish I would have gotten 

a hot coffe, or a hot chai or even a hot tea

When I was getting ready today

I was wishing it was cool outside.

I miss wearing sweaters

I want to need to wear cute warm clothes

 Autumn is almost here

Its by far my favorite season

Watching the leaves change

The chilly days you can wrap yourself up in a blanket

Coffee in the morning to warm you up

to enjoy the crisp clean morning air

Bake some yummy pumpkin bread

Most of all I am looking forward to

capturing beautiful photos within the Autumn Season.

Hopefully before long I will have some of my own photos to show to all of you

Whats your favorite season?

Have a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend :D

New Music

I just so happen to find a website http://www.last.fm/music. I am interested to get back into listening to music a lot more and I never know how to go about knowing what is current or out there these days. I'm tired of listening to the same ol same ol Hip Hop or R&B. This website seems to be a site that you can find artists that are similar to artists you already like

I LOVE a ton of different music...the only thing I don't really listen to is Metal, Hard Rock, or classical. Whats your new current Fav?

Silly things to Remember :D

Rainbow Bright

Smurfs

I'm in my late 20's. Oh my it hurts my heart to say that. I can NOT believe I will be 30 in a year and a half. I know 30 isn't old but I seriously have anxiety about it. I have been a little obsessive about it lately too. Anyways...I'm in my late 20's.

This made me laugh :D

Kids my age grew up playing video games. I think the first gaming system was Atari, but I had the first Nintendo. Best games being Mario World and Tetris. Those are the two I can remember but I'm sure there's more....

Do you remember when the games wouldn't work so you took the game out, you would blow out the "dust" then it still didn't work so then you go grab a candle or a marker and shove it in the system to make it press the game down harder...and low and behold it would be fixed. LOL

As I got older and went into high school the new thing was pagers....pagers were started as a business device to get someone to call you back in an important situation. Then we started using it as a conversation piece. We would use numbers to make it look like letters and actually have conversations with numbers. :/  Then it got to a point that if you had a side view that was cool, but if you had a top view, ummmmm not so cool. 

Examples :D

143 = I love you

 5012124 = Sorry

5-S 0-O 12-R 12-R 4-Y

Then cell phones, and well as we all know we can't go without them. I feel naked if I leave the house and I don't have it. Or when I go to find it and I can't and I FREAK out!!! The first cell phone I had was the 

good ol Nokia. No browser, No games, No bluetooth, No video, No camara.

ya, you like that...hahahaha

I think the reason I started thinking about this was because my mom was here and I wanted to get the 

Swiffer Wet Jet. She kept telling me that us "kids" spend so much money on convenience. She thought it was better and cheaper to use a sponge mop with hot water and soap. WHAT?!?!?!? Why would I do that? :D But if you think about it...we are always looking for the easier way, the quickest way to get things done. It makes since right? I would WAY rather spend the money and have things done quicker than save money and things take double the time....Thats probably why so many companies make SO much money.

Another thing I just thought about was our radios. There was no I POD no MP3 Player we had BIG radios 

This is the one I had...I can't believe I found it :D

Thanks for taking this trip with me...I know its silly but it was fun to go back to my childhood! Do any of you remember all this? What was your favorites growing up? I hope this made someone smile!!! 

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine they see all day.

Mood- Cheerful, thankful, blessed :D

Listening to- EXTRA on TV 

What am I to do?

For years I have always asked my self what it is that I want to do with my life. I knew from a very young age that I was put on this earth to be a wife and a mother. I got married 4 years ago to an amazing man. Hes a quite man, but through his tough manly exterior I know he loves me for me. We have an amazing daughter and the amount of joy and happiness that I get from her being in my life is unexplainable. I definitely want more kids but its just not the right time....

So for the time being I am faced with the question, what do I want to do with my life? I want at least one more baby. Maybe even 2 more. Do I worry about a career now or after my family is complete and my kids are in school? I seriously stress myself out, with what about this what about that....I don't know how to stop my thinking process. I just confuse myself and over whelm  myself, then I just quit thinking about it because I stress myself out. I don't know how 2 working parents do it...I just don't!!! On to the next topic.....

I was in Starbucks the other day with my friend Morgan and she introduced me to Ray LeMontagne. I'm not sure why but I never just play music to listen to during my day. I think I should start though, its quit relaxing.

One of my wishes/dreams....

To be a phenomenal photographer

Love this picture....

Music Listening to: Bon Iver (Again, thank you Morgan)

Mood: Discouraged, Undecided, Lost....yet still thankful for everything I do have

You & Me Day

 
Kevin and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary yesterday. For the first time we just took it easy and relaxed. We just so happened to share our special day with opening day of football season....just so everyone is clear I really don't like football. I am a total sports fanatic but for some reason I can't rap my head around the idea of football. I have attempted to learn about the sport but I think the rules are just plain retarded. My goal is to try to be positive about football this season for my husbands sake. Maybe I will express my thoughts on football through my blog instead of at Kevin. I'm sure he will appreciate that :D  After Kevin got home from work I decided that I would run to the store get a couple steaks and make his favorite dinner....STEAK & POTATOES. No vege's,  just man food. So for his gift he ate his favorite meal and watched football on the couch.Romantic? Not so much. Did he love it? ABSOLUTELY!

Todays a GOOD day....

Good Afternoon Everyone,

Not to much going on around here today.

Just relaxing with the family.

Getting ready to take my Little Sky Bug to get cupcakes.

I can't wait for that photo opportunity.

Excited for this evening since Kevin doesn't work in

the early AM tomorrow...we can actually spend some time together :D

Going to ATTEMPT to go to the Farmers Market tomorrow.

Its SO hard to wake up early to go. I am a night owl for sure.

I love to be up all night and sleep ALL day...

To bad its not a very productive way to live.

I have missed my Karly Babe so much, its crazy to get to know her as a woman.

Shes always been my baby sister, we are almost 10 years apart.

With me moving away we don't get to spend to much time together.

Shes an amazing young lady and I am extremely proud of her.

She should be proud of the person she has become.

Love you sis!

The fear of being alone....

I have gotten to a point in my life where I am not comfortable being out by myself. I have truly forgotten what its like to just go and do whatever without having someone with me. I have major anxiety issues and my brain goes at 100 miles an hour. I get scared if I'm out and the sun goes down. What if someone hurts me, what if I can't protect my daughter. Are these thoughts normal? And for that matter what in the heck is "Normal"? I watch this video and it makes me sad...I wish I was comfortable with myself, for me to only be with me.

Pencil :D

So my sis Karly told me about a website www.stumbleupon.com and its super fun. A way to find a ton of websites that you could be interested in, that you might not have stumbled upon :P While stumbling I came across this cool website that I would like to share...

http://oddstuffmagazine.com/ 

Photos I found from this website....Dalton Ghetti is the creator of these amazing pieces of art. All his sculptures are made out of single pencils.

Alphabet

This one is my favorite

 There are so many other things to read on this website but I was in awe when I saw these photos....ENJOY!!!

Choices

I have been wanting to blog about SO many things lately but for some reason I cant get myself to sit down and concentrate on what it is that I want to share with all of you...I have been slammed with so many things going on in my life, I think I'm on over load. I don't enjoy being a negative person, I always try to find a way to be positive but I'm needing to express how I'm truly feeling....If you ignore the truth then aren't you choosing to live a lie?

As you may know from my previous postings I lost my Father In Law in March. My husbands job is secure but not at all what we were expecting it to be....we're on a temporary hold on the income we were expecting. That's an over whelming stress in itself. I married my husband 10 months into our relationship and we are paying the price for that decision now...I had no idea marriage was so much work. I love my husband, he has a lot of qualities that I respect, and there's other qualities he has that make me want to hit him over the head with a frying pan :D I'm sure I'm a pain in the ass to deal with (at times) as well though. My parents made it look so easy...props to you both on that one....I love you! Both my parents told me to not get a dog....but I wanted a puppy. So I got one, his name is Jax.

I have to be completely honest, that dog is a pain in my butt but he makes me so happy. He loves me everyday and I love him back. I have no business having a dog but I do, and I already have a kitty kitty meow meow....Gracie. Kevin cant stand her but oh well, shes a good kitty. I love her too.

(Please remember I have a 3 year old also) My life is BUSY!!! Lots of love in the house though ;) The other day, I posted that my car broke down...that's not fixed yet. I have been going to the doctors a lot and I finally found out that my hormone levels are off. I'm happy to be on the road of feeling better but I just see it as another expense. I have a habit of letting myself go so I can make sure everyone else is taken care of :( My vacuum just quit working the other day. So I guess in the big picture most of my issues are finances....I think I'm gonna look into getting a job...I will keep you posted. I know we will be ok, my husband and I both have fantastic family and we are very thankful to have so many great friends in our lives. We will get through this!!


Some of my goals....

Start Eating Better

Start Working out and get my extra weight off

Go to school for Medical Billing

Own a home in Colorado

A fantastic camera, an all time dream hobby of mine

A Mac Laptop...The pink is a little plus :D

I will make something of myself....I promise me that!!!